To Live or Try Dying
It is no surprise that life is hard and we must weigh that against the payoffs we receive from attaining our goals and satisfying our needs, but do we place too much value on the prize, our satisfaction, and not enough on the sometimes arduous journey that we take to get there?
When I look back on the entirety of the forty-some years I have lived on this earth, I can see a constant struggle, speckled with points in time when I reached a goal or learned something new and achieved some level of enlightenment along the way. I do not think I follow linear paths that result in monumental achievements. Does anyone? Is it possible that our grand achievements exist in the lessons we learn along the way?
It is easy to look at someone else’s life and admire what they have achieved, but we do not see the other side, the journey they took to get where they are, and we cannot peek into their private lives to see the difficulties they still face.
According to Rudolf Steiner, the early 20th century philosopher and founder of Anthroposophy, the value of our lives can be quantified by how much pain we can accept to feel pleasure. He indicates that pain is inevitable and pleasure is not a guarantee. He believes life satisfaction is solely based on whether we live with purpose and that our purpose is found in what motivates us to get up every day and live, and our ability to create something tangible from our inner motivations to contribute to the greater good of society.
When we feel depressed, we are essentially experiencing the separation of our bodies from our soul lives, our ability to live in the truth of who we are, what I identify as our soul life or soul purpose. We temporarily forget our purpose. We have so many external demands in our lives, it can be difficult to remain present and true to ourselves. This can create the illusion that we are frozen in time or stuck in a rut, a temporary death. Once we refocus on our priorities and rediscover our purpose, we feel renewed or born again.
Individuals who have thoughts of suicide, I believe, are locked in a state of perpetual rewind. They cannot see a way out from under the prison they have built in their minds. External forces have corrupted their internal dialogue and thus the separation of body and soul enters a state of temporary death. Without a healthy psychological state of mind and immediate external support systems, a choice to end one’s existence plays into the equation.
We are truly complex beings and our minds can be feeble when we lack the skills to cope with balancing pain and pleasure. I believe mindfulness, healthy patterns of behavior, external support systems, self-reflection, and refocusing our priorities are the keys to living in our truth and fulfilling our purpose. Most of all, get up every day and do something healthy that makes you feel good.
S. Angell is a published poet, writer, philosopher, video blogger, and preschool teacher by day. She explores an array of topics including love, life, death, history, and society from a philosophical perspective. You can find her on Instagram @therainydaypoetess or TheRainyDayPoet.com
